What does "exile" by Taylor Swift (feat. Bon Iver) mean?

“exile” Lyrics Meaning

In an Instagram post about her inspiration for her eighth album, “folklore,” Taylor wrote about “exile”: “I found myself not only writing my own stories, but also writing about or from the perspective of people I’ve never met, people I’ve known, or those I wish I hadn’t. An exiled man walking the bluffs of a land that isn’t his own, wondering how it all went so terribly, terribly wrong …” This song seems to be one of the ones written about characters that she has created for the album, and the complex pain that they go through. 

“Those eyes add insult to injury” 

“exile” is about two ex-lovers who run into each other shortly after their relationship has ended. The woman is already moving on and seeing someone else, and resents the man for still loving her. Both blame the other for the death of what was long ago a happy romance. The story isn’t about who is right, but instead about the ambiguity of what truly happened between them. It is also a duet between Taylor Swift and Justin Vernon, a member of Bon Iver.

Verse 1 [Justin Vernon]

I can see you standing, honey
With his arms around your body
Laughin', but the joke's not funny at all
And it took you five whole minutes
To pack us up and leave me with it
Holdin' all this love out here in the hall

The male narrator catches sight of his ex-lover with her new partner. He is angry that she has moved on so quickly while he’s still stuck in love with her. It’s clear that, at least from his point of view, the choice to end the relationship was not mutual and she was the one to “pack [them] up and leave [him] with it.”

Chorus [Justin Vernon]

I think I've seen this film before
And I didn't like the ending
You're not my homeland anymore
So what am I defending now?
You were my town, now I'm in exile, seein' you out
I think I've seen this film before

He is confused by his feelings for her. He feels jealous, even though she is no longer his. Their relationship was likely very long term, by the way he describes her as his former “homeland.” It is difficult to shift from being so closely allied to being in “exile,” unable to return to what they had and struggling to move on. Whether he has experienced it himself, or seen others go through it, he knows that what he’s experiencing will likely remain painful for some time. Later, they sing this version of the chorus together, indicating that she also still feels something for him, even if she doesn’t want to return to the relationship. 

Verse 2 [Taylor Swift]

I can see you starin', honey
Like he's just your understudy
Like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me
Second, third, and hundredth chances
Balancin' on breaking branches
Those eyes add insult to injury

The female narrator is frustrated when she catches her ex-lover watching her with her current boyfriend. She doesn’t like how he looks at him like he’s nothing but an “understudy”, a rebound for their relationship, and how he looks like he still wants to fight for her. She believes she has given him plenty of chances, and it’s unfair of him to miss her now that she’s moving on. It only adds “insult to injury.”

Chorus 2 [Taylor Swift]

I think I've seen this film before
And I didn't like the ending
I'm not your problem anymore
So who am I offending now?
You were my crown, now I'm in exile, seein' you out
I think I've seen this film before
So I'm leaving out the side door

She echoes her ex’s sentiment about not liking “the ending” (it’s unclear if she is referring to the demise of their relationship, or the residual feelings that they both have and how they may be dragged out painfully.) She doesn’t like that she notices how her ex is offended by seeing her with another man, since she knows there’s nothing wrong with what she’s doing. She too, feels like she’s leaving the familiarity of what was once a comforting relationship, never to return. She turns away from him by “leaving out the side door” so that she won’t need to prolong the pain of the interaction. 

Bridge {Justin Vernon and Taylor Swift}

So step right out, there is no amount
Of crying I can do for you
All this time
We always walked a very thin line
You didn't even hear me out (You didn't even hear me out)
You never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)
All this time
I never learned to read your mind (Never learned to read my mind)
I couldn't turn things around (You never turned things around)
'Cause you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)
So many signs, so many signs
You didn't even see the signs

The male narrator, heartbroken, wants another chance, and tells her that she never truly listened to what he was trying to say. She feels the same way. They both agree that he couldn’t save the relationship, but while he believes that was because she never opened up to him about how she was feeling, she believes it is because he wasn’t paying attention when she tried to show him her heart. 

Deeper Meaning of “exile” by Taylor Swift

Often, when relationships end, the people involved have very different ideas of who was more at fault. In “exile” we are able to empathize with both sides, while not knowing which-- if either-- is being more honest about why the relationship ended. The story that Taylor and Justin tell here is a reminder that emotions are complex, and that real life isn’t always black and white. A relationship may end, but the feelings may take longer to fade. A relationship may wither, but it may be unclear why. That is why we need to have grace for ourselves and others as we deal with complex situations. Compassion and empathy can lead to understanding and growth, as we can see more clearly as outsiders to the scenario in “exile.”